I'm a Runner....well.....

I'm a runner.  I was never a runner until I stopped playing volleyball in college.  I felt like I needed to do something when I stopped, so I started to run.  Not Forrest Gump run, but run.  I would run a mile and think I was amazing.  Then, I ran more.  And more.  After running three miles for a few months, I thought.... hey... I can run a marathon.  So I did. I've run 5k, 10k, and several half marathons. Running became a part of me.  It was when I would think and be with my thoughts.  It was when I felt closer to Jesus because my mind would be open and clear.  But now I'm old...er.  My mind and cardiovascular system (hahaha) are willing but my body is weak. The last few years have been tough on me physically (due to injuries) and mentally.  I don't get the "runner's high" now.  I don't get lost in my thoughts or in the "zone" anymore.  I can spend an hour on a machine and it's never enough.  I miss running.  I miss being with my thoughts. I miss disappearing into the cadence of my footsteps on the pavement or treadmill. There was something soothing about the repetition that I could just sit in and be for miles.  Now I'm down to running about once or twice a week for only about 3-4 miles.  Whatever the body can handle.  I hate it, but it's my new normal and I'm growing to accepting it. Can I still call myself a runner? I don't know. I don't know if I'm ready to throw in that towel. 

From my Brown eyes to yours....